Wednesday, July 05, 2006

happiness is.....

46 weeks, 3 days.

Each time I try and summarize all that has been going on I find myself at a loss of where to start, and what to say and how to say it and the like, so instead I'll simply say this: There has been a lot going on.

(there was a wedding of a good friend that took place a few minutes from Webs - guess who left the reception for a quick yarn fix? There was a great weekend spent with fiber friends who shared their wool knowledge, fashion sense and couch so I could enjoy as much time as possible with them before hitting the road and I have been spinning or knitting every chance I get, yet feel like I'm getting nowhere on everything...strange that.)

I am in the process of yarn relocation and needle acquisition, or, as some might say, moving. My time in the student house has come to an end (yay!) and tomorrow night starts a three week cat/house sitting gig that will take me to the end of my time here. Right now my car is packed with things that need to be gone through, sorted and repacked and I foresee finding all of the sock needles that have mysteriously disappeared over the past 10 months. I haven't figured out which yarn will trek around the northeast with me, but I can say with certainty that there will be a fair amount of sock yarn along for the ride.

My surgery rotation ended, and I started my 6 week family practice rotation.

I. love. family. medicine.

It could be that I'm seeing patients on my own, and making recommendations and writing notes and following up on labs that I "ordered." It could be that I am not spending my days in the operating rooms. It might be that I am working with some phenomenal attending physicians who like to teach and truly love what they are doing. Or it could be some strange combination of all those things - whatever it is, I am enjoying it.

Today I saw two toddlers, an elderly woman and a middle aged male, all from various backgrounds and with different problems. Each day is full of surprises (some better than others). I like talking with patients and love having the time to sit and talk with them about what is going on in their lives, what they have done and what they wish to do; how they see their health and what stands in the way of them feeling better. The presenting problem is only half the story, and fishing out the other concerns is important to me. (doing it in an noninvasive way is even more important to me.) I know that the hour long appointments will not last forever, and so I fully intend to make the most of my time before I'm reduced to 15 minute with patients.

In the words of KT Turnstall: "Suddenly I see...This is what I wanna be...Suddenly I see...Why the hell it means so much to me..."

Other things have finally calmed down too; to make a very long story very short, I had a medical thing come up. In January I had an abnormal MRI that led to visits with several specialists and more questions than answers. Over the past several months I've spent a long time in waiting rooms on the other side of the medical fence while the list of things that could be going on was reduced to just one thing as items were crossed off. Everything is okay, and now I have some answers that can help me figure out where to go from here. It means that I won't need to take time off, don't need to change very much and can now figure out what comes next.

I finally feel like I'm no longer holding my breath and it's a good feeling. My friends and family and others have all individually commented that I look like I'm "back" again and I have to agree; it's nice to be in my own groove again.

This could be the calm before the next storm (residency applications, pages and pages and pages of things that need to be filled out and figured out, moving around every four weeks for the entirety of my fourth year and figuring out my tangled finances and loans) but it also could be that the worst has passed...

(pictures at some point this weekend, once everything is in the same place and speaking the same language. I never understood the posts I read that said things like "my camera isn't connecting to my computer." This must be some sort of cosmic payback for rolling my eyes and wondering how it was possible for such a thing to happen.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFL re the camera karma. FX with your medical stuff - it sounds like you didn't get the worst answer in the world, but still - anything is hard to deal with. You're almost in the home stretch of school - wheeee!

5:51 AM  
Anonymous mia said...

moving yarn is not fun, except for the notable fact that it is LIGHT. I'm so glad you're feeling better! Can you email me your address?? :o)

6:16 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

It's so good to be doing what you love, isn't it? Glad you're back in your own groove again!

6:40 AM  
Anonymous mamacate said...

I'll try not to be hurt that you were in town and didn't call. I do understand how that goes. But boo hoo. ;)

Hooray that things are going well with the FP rotation. And how amazing when what you knew all along turns out to be right.

And wicked yay about the MRI situation. I'm so glad the news is good.

About the camera karma, watch out. It's called Cosmic Smugness Retribution, and it packs a particular punch in parenting. Just try saying "I don't know why all those other moms are whining about their babies not sleeping; I'm getting plenty of sleep! They must be doing something wrong." The goddess will smite you and give your baby a bad-ass molar the very next day. I never said that particular one, but trust me. It aint pretty. Works for knitting too, of course "I'm such a hot-shit knitter, I did that lace shawl....wait...what's that misplaced yarnover there, 172 rows back?"

You know what I mean....

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Cyndy said...

You are so right to relish those hour long appointments. Seeing patients every fifteen minutes, regardless of the comlexity/severity of the problem, is unnerving and unsatisfying.I can't believe its been twenty years since I was in your fourth year shoes!Good Luck.

10:08 AM  
Blogger margene said...

It's good to see the happiness is title again. And it's nice to hear that things have calmed down and you know what direction you want to head.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Rosemary said...

Welcome back to the lighter side. Enjoy the FP rotation.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Carole said...

Oh, don't you sound good. And I'm glad. But if you're traveling New England and you're in my neighborhood, we will get together, right?

11:08 AM  
Anonymous Cordelia said...

Congratulations on finding a "groove."
And on being healthy.
And on moving out of student housing.
And... on having such a plethora of fantastic news.

12:39 PM  
Blogger claudia said...

Good news! YEAH!

3:22 PM  
Blogger BLACK DOG KNITS said...

Glad that your medical thing is under control. I've been lurking 'round here for a while now and enjoy reading your posts. Good luck with your new rotation. PS I'm a med student also (3rd yr, Sydney Uni, Australia).

3:25 AM  
Blogger Philippa said...

It's lovely to hear you're feeling more positive about all things medical. Hope family practice continues to fulfil and inspire you

11:39 AM  
Blogger GamecockDoc said...

Fourth year is great. The application process is stressful, but interviews are fun. And you will never have that much free time again. Enjoy it!

12:54 PM  
Blogger Juno said...

I'm so glad for the good news on all fronts. I didn't know there was such a thing as real family practice left, but you'll be great at it.

How's the rolling stash doing in the move?

8:17 PM  
Anonymous melanie said...

I'm so glad your news is good and that you don't have to take any time off and I'm sure you're feeling much more at ease now. YAY!! And I think family practice suits you to a T!

8:15 AM  
Blogger Theresa said...

Yay on so many levels! Glad you love FP - we all knew you were headed there, right? And if you want to do a rotation in San Diego, let me know. I have plenty of space.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Glad you have found your calling. It is hardest when nothing really screams "This is it." Glad too that you are feeling okay.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Bagpuss said...

Ooohh lucky you! I am so jealous, having realised later in life that i really want to be a dr i have just finished the second year of my first degree (biomedical science) and about to start the long lengthy process of apply to graduate medical school. As much as I love what I am doing now there is no way that i could spend my entire working day in a lab - i would seriously go stir crazy! So glad you are having fun at last (i got the impression surgery isn't for you) and good luck!

12:45 PM  

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