Friday, May 20, 2005

Balance

I'm going to do my best not to wax poetic about how balance is essential to life, but instead am going to try and express my frustration with not being able to find that one key point of balance, when everything evens out and feels as though it's where it should be.

For instance:

it's a thin line between sleeping in and sleeping late and how do I balance that with getting up "early" on my mornings "off?" and how does a midafternoon nap fit into my productive time?

where, in the knitting scheme of things, does what I want to knit fall when compared to things I "should" be knitting, or my charitable knitting?

(at this point I'm working on my striped sweater, but it's hard to make progress when I juggle the needles with highlighters. I made the exeuctive decision last night that my Dulaan knitting is done for this round, and packed up the 10 double thickness hats I made and the two too small for me sweaters to send off. The chemo caps to be are all waiting for their turn on the needles, and I have to finish a yoga mat bag that I auctioned off awhile ago. As much as I enjoy knitting for others, especially others who appreciate it, I've found myself wanting to make progress on my own knitting (but then feel a bit guilty when I'm not working on the charity knitting...))

studying, motivation, memorization, etc: I'm either too relaxed about studying (as in, "I know this!" and will just skim through the material, only to find out that I don't remember everything I learned a year and a half ago) or too worried about what I don't know to focus on what I'm looking at. In order to make it through this stretch with any semblence of sanity I think I need to pull back in, and take stock in what I do know. Somehow I need to find the right balance of studying with learning with long term memory recall and the timing of making sure I cover everything, instead of skipping parts or sacraficing topics for the sake of time.

(I'm working on it, and know that as much as I want a solid answer about how long I need to study micro to get everything down again, such an answer doesn't exist. "Worrying about it is counter-productive" has become a bit of my newest mantra. Boards are a necessary evil, but with any luck they'll be done and over for good in a little over two weeks...)

It's time for me to pull in again - my phone is turned off (and has been for days and days) and I've been leaving my computer turned off for longer stretches of time. We're expecting periods of rain this weekend (fifth weekend in a row for those keeping track) and I'm hoping that with a diminished want to go outside and a few cups of tea I'll feel like I'm back on the right track.

(I think it's helping that I'm going to head down (over?) to Cummington next weekend. MamaCate had offered up her couch/floor, and the chance to talk/play/look at sheep with kids in the under 5 set, and it'll be a nice break from the books! (she also has said that she'll help me figure out what the big deal with spinning is all about, and with any luck I'll get a drop spindle to practice with so that I can have it down in time for the fiber frolic! (the fiber frolic is, ironically, the weekend after my boards...)))

2 Comments:

Anonymous Jess said...

spinning! I fancy that... look forward to seeing how you get on. I am hoping that the Woolfest will give me a chance to watch, learn and buy a drop spindle.

Best,

Jess

4:51 AM  
Anonymous Etherknitter said...

Depending on my level of insanity at the time, I may come home from Cummington with a drop spindle. See you there.

9:09 AM  

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